Gifts of the Magi
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/26/11 at 02:29 PM CT
Happy Yule, merry Christmas, and happy Hanukkah. At this time of year, the Bible is at the forefront of the thoughts of billions of people around the world. Many of these religious adherents in the civilized world are also gamers. Yet what games are available that cater to the Abrahamic tradition? Not many. Indeed, the world of Christian video games is laughable, still dominated primarily by Wisdom Tree, a developer (in the loosest possible sense of the term) that hasn’t been particularly active since the NES.
It is quite difficult, however, for religion and gaming successfully join forces, especially when certain facets of the former consider the latter to be entirely demonic. At the same time that some Evangelical groups dismiss gaming outright, other individuals endeavor to create games that are “wholesome fun” by sanitizing them for the protection of the youth. But this mentality is completely hypocritical, as the Bible itself is not sanitized! Instead of offering gamers …
Vaguely Related: Wii HDMiKey
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/18/11 at 04:59 PM CT
Wii owners have lamented for several years their console’s lack of “True HD” output, that is, either 720p or 1080p resolution. It is important to remember, however, that in 2005 when the Wii first came into the world, HDTVs of any variety were fairly rare, dwelling in the rec rooms and man caves of dedicated enthusiasts. The government-mandated HD switch-over was continually pushed back, extending standard definition resolution’s (480i/480p) lease on life.
In 2009, the old format was finally slain once and for all, ushering in a new era of digital beauty and fully-legible on-screen text. Of course, the Wii wasn’t ready for this, and as a console, its non-upgradeable nature meant that every Wii game, no matter how artistically rendered, now looked like poo. The once-unnecessary hardware in the PS3 and Xbox 360 that allowed them to output high resolution visuals at the cost of insane launch prices was suddenly necessary, and Wii were left out.
In my quest for improved …
Generation Motion
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/11/11 at 05:00 PM CT
What started as an out-of-left-field stunt by the oldest of the three current console manufacturers turned out to be one of the defining characteristics of the 7th Generation of gaming consoles (aside from shooter domination). Motion controls started a gaming controversy: Are games more accessible when played using semi-natural movements instead of reflex-trained button presses? Are motion controls suitable for all genres? As Generation Motion draws to a close, let us look back and see what we, and our console-making corporate friends, have learned.
Nintendo
The company that started the whole motion control craze built-up a mountain of cash on a foundation of broken promises. While still a good game in-and-of-itself, “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess” is also the embodiment of lazy motion controls that don’t actually add anything to the gameplay. With the Wii, “waggle” became the accepted descriptor of its so-called “revolutionary” motion controls that usually …
Review Round-Up: Fall 2011
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/02/11 at 03:54 PM CT
Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:
Nelson’s Reviews:
I reviewed two over-hyped – but frighteningly similar – RPGs that serve as examples of the nonsensical nature of the divide between Js and Ws, an obscure 3D Platformer that turned out to be obscure for a reason, and our last co-op staff game.
“Xenoblade Chronicles”
“Dungeon Hunter: Alliance”
“Brave: The Search for Spirit Dancer”
“Dragon Age: Origins (Ultimate Edition) ”
Chris’ Reviews:
Chris reviewed one of his ‘Sorry about the ApocalyPS3’ rewards, 2 mainstream FPSes (one with ‘dead’ in the title!), and our last co-op staff game.
“Dead Island”
“Dungeon Hunter: Alliance”
“Deus Ex: Human Revolution”
“Super Stardust HD”
Nick’s Reviews:
Nick finally found the time to write-up his review of the multi-player RPG we all played-through together last quarter. His “Dungeon …
Vaguely Related Review: Game Fuel
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/25/11 at 04:19 PM CT
This is the first in what I hope to make an irregularly-recurring column in which I (or one of the other MeltedJoystick staff) review a product that is related to gaming but isn’t an actual videogame or console. This week the product in question is Pepsi’s “Game Fuel” varieties of Mountain Dew.
Game Fuel first made an appearance in 2007 as a tie-in promotion for the release of “Halo 3.” I didn’t get in on this because the promotion period was so short (and because I don’t give a fig about “Halo 3” HA!). When this cherry-citrus flavor returned in 2009 to promote “World of Warcraft,” I managed to snag some (despite also not giving a fig about “World of Warcraft” HA!).
The two “WoW” tie in flavors were Orc Red and Elf Blue, with cherry-citrus red and a blue-raspberry blue that tasted very similar to Mountain Dew Voltage. Both flavors were incredibly tasty, but the red flavor disappeared after the promotion ended while the blue flavor lived on as …
The Hidden Genre in Games
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/20/11 at 05:03 PM CT
Videogames are a perpetually evolving form of media. While literature and film have largely passed through their respective coming-of-age periods and have settled into a series of well-defined pigeonholes, videogames are still a bit more ambiguous. In all other forms of media, the genre describes the basic setting in which the characters and plot are revealed. While ‘genre’ is considered a dirty word among certain uppity English professors who think Literary Fiction is the only kind of writing worth reading, ‘Literary’ has itself become a genre (and one of the worst, at that).
Scanning the shelves at a bookstore will reveal: Literary, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Steampunk, Post-Modern, and a variety of other setting-based descriptions that give the potential reader a hint of what lies between the covers. Movies likewise cram their pegs into these same holes, despite the fact that the fit isn’t quite right. In film there’s also the style in which the narrative …
Veterans Day
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/13/11 at 03:32 PM CT
This Veterans Day weekend, millions of gamers will celebrate the sacrifices made by the United States military by shooting each other in the head, teabagging the corpses of their fallen adversaries, and screaming obscenities into wireless headsets, thanks to the recent release of “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.” To these millions of gamers, many of whom are too young to understand its horrors, war is a form of entertainment.
While it may no longer be cool to hate on “Call of Duty,” lack of coolness has never stopped me from doing things in the past. Why do people (and in this instance, ‘people’ refers to ‘mainstream gamers’) find war entertaining? While conflict is necessary to drive the plot of any good story (and it’s debatable whether or not “CoD’s” 8-hour single-player mode qualifies as ‘good’), what is the infatuation with bringing home the horrors of modern warfare to our living rooms under the guise of ‘entertainment?’ These games aren’t …
In Praise of Nothing
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/06/11 at 03:42 PM CT
The Seventh Generation of videogame consoles has spawned numerous changes in the way videogaming works. While there has been little innovation in the games themselves, our interaction with them has changed immensely. And most of these changes were initially forced upon us by Microsoft, a company that never should have become entangled in the game console industry.
I have already discussed the fact that persistent online connections and built-in hard drives (first implemented by MS in the original Xbox) have allowed the slapdash PC game development model of ‘release it now, fix it later’ to migrate to consoles. But that’s just an example of something old and bad being allowed to stick around instead of being regulated out of existence. Persistent online connections also allowed Microsoft to come up with a new poison to taint videogames: Achievements.
Of course, Achievements aren’t exactly new either. There has always been e-peen waggling and one-upmanship amongst gamers. …
No-Effort Halloween Costumes for Gamers
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/30/11 at 01:20 PM CT
Uh-oh! Halloween is tomorrow and you don’t have a costume yet! Let MeltedJoystick help you out with 5 suggestions for no-effort (or little-effort) costumes with a gaming flavor.
5. Mario (“Super Mario Bros.”)
The only effort required for this costume is being a Club Nintendo Platinum Member… in 2009. That was the year Nintendo gave away official Mario hats (or the gimped WiiWare title, “Doc Louis’ Punch-Out!!”). Combine the hat with a red shirt, blue jeans, and a magic-marker mustache. You’re done!
4. Weighted Companion Cube (“Portal”)
This one needs to be done the night before so the spray paint has time to dry. Just take a cardboard box (big enough to cover your body), cut a head-hole, spray paint the whole thing gray, then glue a left-over Valentine’s Day card to each side. If you don’t have any V-Day cards, a red marker can do the trick as well.
3. James Bond (“GoldenEye 007”)
Do you have access to a place that rents tuxedos? Rent a tux and …
Of Js and Ws
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/23/11 at 09:08 PM CT
As I mentioned previously, I hate the term ‘JRPG.’ Not only is it used as a pejorative against my favorite genre, it adds negative connotations and a perceived need for segregation where none exists. What does the dreaded JRPG need to be segregated from? Why, the Aryan Race of ‘WRPGs,’ of course, with the ‘W’ standing for ‘Western.’ If this usage of Western was meant to separate RPGs featuring cowboys and six-shooters from RPGs featuring swords & sorcery or RPGs featuring space ships and mecha, it might make some sense. As it is, though, it’s just a way to geographically separate games by their country of origin. And it doesn’t really work.
What people are mistakenly calling ‘JRPGs’ should technically be called by their old name, ‘Console RPGs.’ But wait! Now that consoles are capable of running ports of the games formerly known as ‘PC RPGs,’ that line has been all but erased. It started to blur a long time ago when games like “Dungeon Master” …
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