5 Ways for FPSes to Melt My Cold, Cold Heart
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/31/11 at 11:55 AM CT
It is no secret that I dislike the first-person shooter genre. It’s not just because modern FPSes are invariably pointless multi-player frag-a-thons, and it’s not just because most of them are ‘rated M for juvenile’ with paper-thin plots and settings featuring some combination of Space Marines, World War II, and/or Zombies (all things I hate in my entertainment media, be it games, movies, books, or anything else). There are a handful of FPSes that defy these genre conventions, and actually make themselves into games that I would be interested in playing… if it weren’t for the fact that the genre is mired in poor gameplay conventions that I find intolerable. So here’s a short list of gameplay mechanics that FPS developers need to put into their games in order to make me dislike them less.
5. Regenerating Health
Wow, this one has been done already! I always hated the so-called ‘classics’ of the FPS genre – things like “DOOM” and “Quake” – because it …
Second-Hand Greed
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/24/11 at 07:08 PM CT
The fact that game publishers are becoming more and more like movie studios is difficult to ignore. Both games and movies have always relied on the old boogeyman of ‘piracy’ to explain lack of sales, even though studies have shown that each infringing copy does not equal a lost sale. Even Electronic Arts, one of the biggest and most vile game publishers in the world, admits to this fact.
So, if piracy is not to blame for lost sales, then what could possibly explain why game publishers aren’t raking in the hojillions of dollars required to gold-plate the CEO’s yacht while still providing a dented can of Pork & Beans for the development team to fight over? Obviously it’s the second-hand market!
Used games have been around for as long as videogaming has existed. While GameStop may have only been around since 1984 (in some form or another), I’m sure that real oldsters can remember buying used Colecovision or Atari games at garage sales and thrift shops. While Big Media …
Xbox, Why are You a Thing?
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/17/11 at 11:32 PM CT
As I mentioned in my discussion of Sega’s viability in the 8th Generation console market, a strategic alliance with Microsoft would be key. However, when it comes to Microsoft itself, I have never understood or supported their entry into the console race.
When one thinks of Microsoft, one thinks of operating systems, specifically Windows (and maybe MS-DOS for those older than 25). Windows is the dominant computer operating system primarily because of compatibility with the widest range of commercial, open source, freeware, and homebrewed software. Much of this software takes the form of videogames. In 2001, when Microsoft launched the original Xbox console, they had also just launched their operating system magnum opus in the form of Windows XP. So why would Microsoft waste resources breaking into a console market dominated by Sony, Nintendo, and Sega when it was already sitting on the most universal, easy-to-develop-for gaming platform in the world?
Maybe Microsoft was …
Should Sega Make a Comeback? Part 2
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/10/11 at 05:43 PM CT
Previously, I discussed the viability of Sega making a return to the console arms race during the imminent Generation 8. I concluded that Sega has no hopes of competing in the already-over-crowded hardware market outside of a novelty/budget/nostalgia box that has their entire first party library built-in. Unless, that is, Sega were to seek a strategic alliance with one of the three companies that already control the entire console pie.
Now, let us think: Who would make a perfect match for Sega?
Which console maker has, like Sega, seen significantly more success in the Western world than in Japan?
Which console maker would greatly benefit from Sega’s stable of first party titles to provide some desperately-needed genre diversity?
Which console maker could benefit from Sega’s long Japanese pedigree?
Which console maker has already worked with Sega in the past, and plastered a nice, big (but ultimately meaningless) ‘Compatible with Windows CE’ sticker on the …
Wii Want RPGs: Join Operation Rainfall
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 07/03/11 at 10:10 PM CT
As I briefly mentioned in my E3 Impressions, Nintendo of America has failed, yet again, to confirm localization of three high-quality, first party exclusives, all of which are new intellectual properties: “Xenoblade Chronicles,” “The Last Story,” and “Pandora’s Tower.” Despite the gaming media and fans alike clamoring for these games, Nintendo has stonewalled everyone with such insightful comments as, “We never say 'never,' but we can confirm that there are no plans to bring these three games to the Americas at this time.” Comments like these are meaningless, as game companies – especially Nintendo and Sony – love to take one official position, only to completely reverse that decision a few months later. However, taken at face value, Nintendo of America is being flat-out idiotic by ignoring fan demand for these three RPGs.
Back in the Golden Age, Nintendo ruled the world, one foot astride their first party titles (Mario/Zelda/Metroid), the other foot astride …
Should Sega Make a Comeback? Part 1
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/25/11 at 03:20 PM CT
When the Dreamcast died an incredibly premature death after only 3 years on the market, the company that fought tooth-and-nail with Nintendo across 4 generations of console hardware gave up and became a software-only third party. For fans of Sega’s products, this was a major blow, as it resulted in a diaspora of popular titles that were formerly all available in one place. For example, the “Sonic Adventure” games migrated to Nintendo’s Gamecube while the sequel to “Panzer Dragoon” ended up on the Xbox. Suddenly, keeping up with Sega’s library of games became a lot more expensive, as it required owning multiple consoles.
Die-hard Sega and Dreamcast fans have been speculating that the hardware-turned-software developer still has what it takes to compete with the likes of Microsoft, Sony, and their old foe, Nintendo. Now that Nintendo has shown its hand with regards to starting Console Generation 8 in 2012 while Microsoft and Sony struggle beneath the burdens of their …
RareWare: Much Ado about Nothing
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/19/11 at 03:40 PM CT
Ask any N64 fanboy who his favorite developers are, and you will receive the same two responses over and over: Nintendo and Rare. Rare, a British development house, spent the years between 1994 and 2002 as an unofficial Nintendo second party, meaning that they developed games exclusively for Nintendo hardware despite not actually being a wholly owned subsidiary of the Japanese console maker. In 2002, Microsoft bought 100% of the company and made Rare a subsidiary of their own gaming division. Of course, Microsoft has been building a reputation for inexplicably spending large amounts of money on worthless things.
This love by N64 fanboys is extremely disappointing, as whenever I stand on my anti-N64 soapbox, railing against Nintendo’s lack of quality games (or even quantity games) on their failed 5th Generation console, the defense drags out the same tired argument of Rare exclusives that were so amazing that the N64 didn’t need any other games. The truth of the matter is that …
E3 Impressions 2011
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/12/11 at 06:01 PM CT
This year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) was pretty exciting. For one, it’s the first one for which Melted Joystick has been in existence! For another, it’s the first year that I’ve been able to take advantage of streaming video (hooray for 1.5Mbps!) to watch the proceedings live. Microsoft started the show, followed by Sony, with Nintendo and its mysterious console announcement bringing up the rear. Read on to see what I thought were the highlights and lowlights of E3 2011.
Microsoft
WANT: Kinect Fun Labs, Kinect search, new dashboard
NOT SURE IF WANT: “Minecraft”
DO NOT WANT: More “Halo,” more generic multi-platform releases, Kinect functionality in ‘real’ games
Kinect has started to intrigue me a bit. Kotaku’s Mike Fahey has convinced me that Kinect Fun Labs’ ‘Build-A-Buddy’ feature is the single greatest thing ever to hit the Xbox 360. Combined with other new features, such as voice search via Bing, Kinect is beginning to look like a …
Will the Real James Bond Please Stand Up?
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 06/04/11 at 03:04 PM CT
I’ve been on a bit of a Bond kick lately, what with having recently played “GoldenEye Wii” and having revisited “GoldenEye 64” and “Agent Under Fire” for comparison’s sake. I have found that, despite bouncing around across three different publishers/developers, the Bond license has never really produced a videogame that lives up to the full potential of the movie franchise.
While anyone with any gaming experience and common sense should never expect a Bond movie game to be good (after all, movie games are NEVER good), original Bond stories (not even based on any of Ian Fleming’s original short novels) have proven surprisingly enjoyable in games. Yet for some reason we haven’t seen an original Bond game since 2002’s “Nightfire” (no, “Golden Eye: Rogue Agent” does not count). Instead we got an unfaithful adaption of “From Russia, With Love,” a game version of “Quantum of Solace,” and a redux of “GoldenEye.” Is this really the best developers …
Portable Exclusivity Must Die
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 05/24/11 at 06:49 PM CT
Sony has just announced a new ‘Remaster’ series of PlayStation Portable titles that will be ported to PS3 Blu-Ray with upgraded visuals and controls, while retaining cross-platform save data with their portable origins. Considering Sony’s difficulties in doing anything right this-gen, I am surprised by this incredibly sensible move: It’s time for portable exclusivity to die.
Handheld gaming originated with Nintendo (as so many things do) in their Game & Watch platform. These early handheld titles were pointless little timewasters with incredibly simple gameplay and no goal more complex than achieving a high score. With the advent of the smartphone, handheld gaming has come full-circle, with cheap (typically free or 99¢) little timewasters bringing in players by the droves and providing big profits for developers and publishers alike.
Yet somewhere in the middle of the story, things went awry. As Nintendo continued to push handhelds, they and their third-party …
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