Backlog: The Embiggening – October, 2026
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/03/26 at 01:47 AM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future! Well, it’s October, so you know what that means: Time to break out the old Tannenbaum, festoon it with simulated viscera, and wait for a Heathen Solstice god to pass judgment upon your household... Oh, wait, maybe there’s that other Heathen holiday about conjuring the dead that we should celebrate first... that has had merchandise taking up space in stores since my birthday in August. Then I guess there’s something about turkeys in there too, but none of that’s important. We need to buy games to keep the Industry from collapsing! (Or, NOT buy games and encourage the collapse.)
Oh, shiite and sunni, there’s a bucking futtload of shovel-ready swill (I was calling it “swill” before “slop” became the cool new slang, and I ain’t stopping) coming in October, representing the Industry’s desperation to both squeeze everything out of its impacted colon before the November launch of “Grand Theft Retard 6” and to …
Sony’s Patents are ALSO Retarded
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/26/26 at 04:25 PM CT
Oh dear, just a couple weeks ago, we had to take a look at just how willfully stupid Sony’s legal arguments have been when it comes to the topic of digital games and product ownership. Well, Sony’s lawyers aren’t the only absolute sh!theads working at the company, as a new patent reveals.
A little while ago, Nintendo got into trouble by trying to patent an incredibly basic game mechanic that has been part of gaming since it was done with pencils and paper instead of microprocessors. Well, it seems that the Big 3 of Nintendo, Sony, and XBOX are in a determined competition to see who can offer the WORST products, while still retaining the largest proportion of their locked-in user-base.
Sony recently filed a new patent for a feature they plan to implement into PlayStation controllers at some undetermined point in the future: A credit card reader. Yes, you read that right. Sony has completely pulled off the mask and are no longer even pretending to be anything but …
Microsoft to Resurrect Metered Billing with Gamepass Changes
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/20/26 at 01:01 PM CT
If you’re a Millennial or Zoomer, you’ve probably never heard of metered billing. Thanks to commodities of scale and a race to the bottom among corporate competitors, nearly all of the Web 3.0 subscription services have been “all you can eat” deals,where you pay a flat fee each month and can use the service as much as you want.
For those of us older than Pepperidge Farms... well we DO remember metered billing for everything, including stuff that nobody would even think about metering now, like long-distance phone calls. What were long-distance phone calls? Any phone call made to a number outside of your local 3-digit prefix. If I wanted to call home from school during the day, I had to get permission from the principal in order to make a long-distance call on the school’s dime. Even worse, if my Troll Dad wanted to talk to his Even Trollier Mother, he had to pay long-distance fees... by the MINUTE.
Well, our favorite punching bag, Microsoft’s XBOX Games Division, is …
Sony’s Lawyers are Retarded
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/13/26 at 03:27 PM CT
The recent backlash and attempted boycott of Sony’s digital PlayStation features wasn’t the only thing customers have done in an attempt to fight back against Sony’s latest hubristic moves toward totalitarian control of everything PlayStation. There was also a class-action lawsuit, arguing that Sony’s terminology on their digital stores was misleading.
Sony brought their best crack-team of lawyers to fight back against the class-action suit... and it would seem that the crack-team might just flat-out be smoking crack, since their arguments as to why PlayStation customers have no legal rights to the products they buy digitally are so incredibly stupid they go beyond the mere “bad faith” that we have come to expect of our corrupt lawyers in the 20th and 21st Centuries, all the way to what the classic (?) comedy, “Tropic Thunder,” dubbed “full retard.”
First, Sony attempted to argue that no reasonable customer would click on the word “buy” or “purchase” …
There is Nothing New Under the Sun: The Erosion of Digital Rights
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/06/26 at 12:06 AM CT
There has been a big backlash against Sony’s recent announcement of the end of PlayStation discs in 2028. There was even a week-long PlayStation Blackout movement that... I’ve been participating in since 2014. The entire debacle, including its implications for PlayStation players’ (I almost typed “owners” there, but that’s the crux of the whole issue) rights in an ecosystem where the Company owns the platform, the store, and, ultimately, the things you “license” (again, I almost typed “buy” there) from the store, are chilling. Indeed, it’s highly reminiscent of the kind of corrupt slavery-adjacent behavior foisted on low-wage, low-skill workers in the era of Company Stores and Scrip Currency.
Penny Arcade, the Gaming webcomic that has been around for nearly 30 (!) years at this point, recently had a similar notion, calling out the current trends in Industrial Gaming as less of a new, terrible thing being foisted upon customers, and more of a return to the …
Review Round-Up: Summer 2026
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/01/26 at 03:59 PM CT
Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:
Nelson’s Reviews:
I finally broke out of my “Warframe” rut, thanks in large part to diving into a new “Fortnite: Save the World” rut, dealing with daily missions and the seasonal Venture Zones. I still managed to force myself to finish “Lost Odyssey,” then tried to enjoy some other RPG-adjacent things, but, sadly, didn’t. I was actually expecting to have the lowest number of reviews this quarter, but it turns out that everyone else was having an even worse time with our collective hobby than I.
Lost Odyssey – 3/5
Granblue Fantasy: Relink – 3/5
Dragon Quest Treasures – 3.5/5
Chris’ Reviews:
I don’t know what Chris has been doing, but it certainly hasn’t been working on his backlog, ablutions or otherwise. He has jumped into that same “Fortnite: Save the World” rut with me – he was also the one who informed the …
Backlog: The Embiggening – September, 2026
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/23/26 at 02:24 PM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future! It won’t be long before Summer is gone once again, and the annual Games Drought comes to a catastrophic end. Ya know, it feels pretty bad actually preferring the drought conditions than looking forward to the flood of new Autumn releases, just because “no games” means “no crap.” Oh, well... Time to see what the Industry it rushing out now that everyone is back to the school/work grind and doesn’t have as much free time to play...
Wow! There are a LOT of games coming out in September... and OVER HALF of them fall into one of the four Shovelware buckets. In Licensed Swill, there’s a new ‘Garfield’ platformer, a new ‘Walking Dead’ Beat ‘em Up, a “cozy” Adventure game based on the ‘Moomintroll’ Scandinavian children’s books, a destined-to-be-awful Christmas game called “The Grinch 2: Saving Chrtistmas” (which sounds like a direct to VHS movie from the late ‘80s), a ‘Hot Wheels’ Racing …
DoesItPlay.org: An Essential Tool for Inveterate Console Peasants
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/16/26 at 02:12 PM CT
Are you a console peasant? Do you still insist that consoles are “easy” and “just work” while denying that PC gaming has largely reached parity in that particular metric? Do you think physical media will protect you from corporate corruption within Industrial Gaming?
Well, with Nintendo’s obsession with Game Key Cards on the Switch 2 and with Sony officially discontinuing PlayStation discs in 2028, you’ve got your work cut out for you in defending that ancient way of life. You may as well churn your own butter and spin your own yarn!
Fortunately, though, long-time Gamers who value the medium as more than a way to turn a quick profit (or, in the case of modern “AAAA” gaming, take 10 years to produce a complete flop) are fighting back against the winds of change, and Games Preservation has become a significant part of 2020s gaming zeitgeist. And if you just so happen to be a console peasant who is worried about the future status of your physical PlayStation disc, …
Trying to Save the World in “Fortnite?” Give these Weapons a Shot.
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/09/26 at 04:33 PM CT
Last week, I took a look at the different ammo types available for ranged weapons in “Fortnite: Save the World,” and which weapons were the best in class for each. This week, we’re looking at the individual weapon types.
In “Fortnite: Save the World,” there are ranged weapons and melee weapons. Ranged weapons are divided into 6 classes: Assault Rifles, Submachine Guns, Sniper Rifles, Pistols, Shotguns, and Launchers. Likewise, melee weapons also come in 6 classes: Axes, Clubs, Swords, Scythes, Spears, and Hardware. Weapon class generally only matters when using a Commander or support characters in the Hero Loadout that boost a specific weapon class. Otherwise, it’s just personal preference and availability.
The same special terminology from last week’s article still applies, so here’s a refresher:
Flux: Flux is a rare in-game resource that can be purchased from an in-game, non-premium currency shop called the Gold Exchange. Limited amounts of Rare, Epic, and …
Trying to Save the World in “Fortnite?” Trick Out Your Arsenal with These Weapons.
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 08/02/26 at 05:08 PM CT
Well, something happened that I never expected: Epic Games, in the face of waning “Fortnite: Battle Royale” player engagement, went ahead and pulled the game’s original, intended form, “Fortnite: Save the World” out of the digital trash bin behind the studio and finally released it to the public. The MJ Crew was really looking forward to this game... a DECADE AGO, when early access testing and development really began in earnest. Unfortunately for us, when Epic introduced the PvP mode as a way to raise money for the PvE mode, it turned the game into a self-perpetuating meme and it was eventually announced that the original concept was being scrapped.
Fortunately, Epic forgot to click “empty recycle bin,” and were able to release the “finished” “Save the World” game in June of 2026. The MJ Crew has been playing it since the very day it went fully F2P (or at least trying to play it, when not dealing with summer vacations and other interruptions to our weekly …
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