Backlog: The Embiggening – December, 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/28/15 at 02:33 PM CT
Ah, December… the month that shall be known as “X-Mas” to future generations (at least if “Futurama” has any kind of prescience). To contemporary humans – and especially contemporary human gamers – it is a month for piling on a bunch of purchases and acquisitions-via-gifts to make our backlogs grow as fat as free-range Hobbits. Ironically, December is usually a weak month for new releases, and this year is no exception.
There isn’t much in the way of new shovelware dropping on our heads as the year comes to a close. In fact, the only scheduled release of licensed garbage we have to look forward to this month is a delayed release from last month: “Kung Fu Panda: Showdown of Legendary Legends” (seriously, if publishers are going to produce barely-playable licensed garbage, they could at least be bothered to release it on time… it’s not like the delay will suddenly make this type of game suck less).
There are two new ‘legit’ multi-platform releases …
Hey, You! Get on the Cloud!
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/22/15 at 03:35 PM CT
“The Cloud” is the hot, new fad in the world of computer technology, and shows no indications of going away any time soon. While actual “Cloud Computing” is a term referring to easily-expandable virtual server architecture, when most average folks talk about “The Cloud,” they are, instead, referring to the many services that offer blobs of online storage for individual account holders.
Having recently come to join the 21st Century (15 years late) with real, usable Internet speeds, AND having recently started to run a good, old-fashioned Dungeons & Dragons tabletop game in “The Cloud” with Berzerk Games’ “Tabletop Simulator,” I suddenly found myself with an urgent need for and ability to utilize Cloud storage. Of course, I didn’t want to actually pay for the privilege, so I went on another modern-day pilgrimage, visiting all of the holiest of holy Clouds to see if any of them were worthy of veneration. While by no means fully comprehensive, the following is …
The Mario Virus
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/15/15 at 07:37 PM CT
On September 11, 2015, Nintendo released their answer to the fantastic Indie game, “Super Mario Bros. X.” Their effort, a little WiiU game called “Super Mario Maker” has managed to attract a significant following by demystifying the world of ‘Mario’ ROM-hacks.
Now anyone can easily build and upload their own custom ‘Mario’ stages for all the world to see… except the world generally won’t see them at all. Unfortunately, Nintendo managed to implement the sharing process in their new game in such a way that momentum and viral marketing are the only ways for would-be ‘Mario’ designers to get their ideas in front of eyeballs.
Over at ArsTechnica, Gaming Editor, Kyle Orland did us all a favor and created an array of graphs detailing the way “Super Mario Maker” stages shake out by popularity (with popularity leading directly to Stars, which unlock the ability to upload more stages at once and make existing stages easier for players to find). The …
Vaguely Related Review: Northeast Nebraska Telephone Company
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/08/15 at 02:52 PM CT
It has been a month since Northeast Nebraska Telephone Company (NNTC) rescued me from the ISP tyranny of Windstream (delenda est). I have already written about the gory details of how I came to be a customer of NNTC, so today I’m going to focus on the quality of the company’s service. In a word: Euphoric.
During the process of getting a fiber optic line extended to my farm, NNTC executive, Terry Eriksen, told me the company would begin work on my fiber run on September 21, 2015. They did not actually begin working on that date… they started trenching and running the fiber two weeks before the 21st! I have never heard any anecdotes from anyone dealing with an ISP or teleco where the company starts doing service work early rather than ‘fashionably’ late. Due to their quick start, NNTC had the fiber run completed and ready to trench through my yard and hook up to the house by the 21st.
It just so happened to be raining lightly the day that NNTC showed up to run the fiber …
Backlog: The Embiggening – November, 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/31/15 at 03:45 PM CT
As November – the month that shall be known as “Turkey” at some point in the distant future – arrives, we all need to stop and take time to think about what we’re thankful for. For most gamers, that will be the Turkey 10th release of “Fallout 4.” But the amount of shovelware still being crammed into the release schedule is a bit like Thanksgiving stuffing: nobody really likes or wants it, but it’s cheap filler, so we’re stuck with it. That, and it tastes bad fresh, but even worse left-over…
…Which is relevant because we have a rather large number of leftovers from last month that got delayed into this month. None of them are exciting or anticipated, though, so I will save us all the agony of rehashing them. Onto the fresh shovelware!
The biggest licensed release in quite some time is dropping in the same month as the latest movie sequel in its franchise, with “Star Wars: Battlefront” (a ‘Chris would love that’ title if ever there was one). Aside …
MMObile: Old-School MMOs are Alive and Well... on Smartphones.
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/25/15 at 08:36 PM CT
Recently, I shared my experience with “modern” Massively-Multi-Player Online (MMO) games. As someone who was never a fan of “traditional” MMOs, I appreciate the fact that modern MMOs at least put on airs of being less grindy, less time consuming, and more accessible than the primogenitors of the sub-genre.
However, the fact that modern MMOs now dominate on PC and console platforms does not, indeed, mean that traditional MMOs are dead. Much like any other criminal element, when detected and actively persecuted in one place, they simply moved to another – one that is sparsely regulated and that allows them to target a new audience of suckers who might not be familiar with their fiendish ways.
Sure, “Everquest” is gone, never to return (well, it is scheduled for a reboot, but it will most likely take the form of a modern MMO). Sure, none of the modern MMOs that have arisen to replace it have all of the horrible elements that made it so simultaneously unappealing and …
Steam Controller: First Impressions
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/18/15 at 04:39 PM CT
On Friday, October 16, 2015, the future arrived on my doorstep and made the world of contemporary PC gaming even better. I pre-ordered the Steam controller at the first opportunity for the not-terribly-outrageous price of $50 (plus $8 shipping), and this weekend the first wave of deliveries have been appearing across the United States. I’ve been putting my new gadget through its paces, and after two days of fiddling with it, all I can say is, “All hail Lord GabeN, for he hath liberated us from the typewriter tyranny of the keyboard once and for all!”
The Steam Controller comes in a stylish, navy blue box which contains the controller itself, the controller’s mandatory wireless dongle, a USB/micro USB extender cable, a micro USB/USB right-angle adapter (something of a mystery), two AA batteries, a legal BS pamphlet, and a three-page pictographic quick-start guide.
Click to Enlarge
Valve’s decision to go with standard, disposable batteries with the Steam …
Backlog: The Embiggening - October, 2015
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/10/15 at 03:46 PM CT
As the holidays (ALL of them, not just Christmas and New Year’s Day) perpetually expand their days of influence year after year, it should come as no surprise that the entire month of October is now dedicated to Halloween. Who knows, maybe in the distant future when our modern world is as much a mystery to the inhabitants of earth as the Greek city-states are to us, the 10th month of the year will simply be called “Halloween,” the 11th will be called “Turkey” and the 12th will be called “X-Mas.”
It is fitting to call this October by the name of the holiday it houses, as the amount of terrible things happening in the games industry is truly, utterly terrifying.
The flow of shovelware has not let up since it turned back on last month. October is slathering an unbelievable amount of crap across all platforms, but a lot of it is focused on the ‘new’ 8th Gen consoles, which have apparently finally existed for long enough to attract negative attention.
18 …
Of MMOs and Glazed Donuts
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/04/15 at 02:22 PM CT
Since I started writing for MeltedJoystick, I have done something I never thought I would do. I did not do this uncharacteristic thing once, but twice. What is this strange, alien, Lovecraftian affront to reason that I did? I played – and enjoyed – a Massively Multi-Player Online game.
When MMOs were first a thing, they were universally MMORPGs. And these MMORPGs took one aspect traditionally found in RPGs – grinding – and made it the entire purpose of the game. Early MMOs like “Everquest” weren’t too keen on telling a story or presenting a unique and engaging set of gameplay mechanics. No, they were intent on getting people to pay a monthly fee and then forcing everything in-game to take an unreasonably long amount of time in order to string subscribers players along for many, many months. These early MMORPGs were the games we still see stereotyped in other media when ‘normal’ characters talk about dysfunctional characters with online gaming addictions – …
H.A.R.D. is a 4-Letter Word
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/27/15 at 02:51 PM CT
Increasingly, I have noticed that when I climb down from my Ivory Tower to walk unseen amongst the unwashed gaming masses that there seems to be a building resentment toward “Easy” games. I don’t understand where these feelings came from, as someone who began gaming in the 8-bit 3rd Generation. I was desperate for some easier games back then, and barely played much of anything until the 4th Gen came along and the SNES provided a lessening of the cheapest, most masochistic elements from its predecessor’s games. I wouldn’t call the SNES’ games “Easy” – instead I would use glorifying terms such as “Balanced” or “Playable” (though there were still exceptions… like the abomination known as “Plok”).
Yet now that we are neck-deep in the 8th Generation, after suffering through a fairly dismal 7th Generation, “Easy” is being used as a slur against games in much the same way the letter “J” has been added to certain RPGs to designate them as inferior. …
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