Backlog: The Embiggening – December, 2019
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/24/19 at 02:49 PM CT
December is upon us, as the Twenty-Teens prepare to give way to the Boring ‘20s. Shockingly, Publishers seem to have caught on – finally – that releasing games late in December is an exercise in futility. The result is a month with few releases, but all of them crammed in the first 10 days or so. It doesn’t really matter, though, as the continued dominance of ports means there’s not much to get excited about, regardless.
We can mostly lean on our shovels like Department of Roads employees, as there are only two pieces of trash-disguised-as-games releasing in December, and both fall into the super-casual non-game variety. We’ve got “Avicii Invector,” a Rhythm game based on some Electronic Dance Music DJ’s portfolio of ‘work;’ and “Waku Waku Sweets,” a spiritual successor to the ‘Cooking Mama’ series of motion-controlled Home Economics simulators.
In spite of the lack of releases overall coming in December, we’ve still got 5 ports, remasters, …
“Received Knowledge” and Criticism
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/17/19 at 04:29 PM CT
Recently, I read a videogame review on another site and dared to delve into the dark underbelly that is the typical Internet comment section. Actually, I read comment sections with regularity, as they are a great way to keep in touch with the zeitgeist of the Mob at any given point in time. However, in this particular instance, I actually learned something new. No, I didn’t actually learn it directly from an Internet comment section remark, but the comment spurred me to do some online research, which yielded results both from the expected Well of All Knowledge that is Wikipedia as well as some American universities.
The topic at hand was how we know game criticism is good, and the comment that spurred me on my latest quest for knowledge spoke directly to my own prejudices by pointing out that people today just accept the established view that certain pieces of media are “good” without applying any critical thinking of their own – such as the fact that Shakespeare is …
China Being China
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/10/19 at 03:20 PM CT
This week, news broke that China will be implementing strict new regulations on videogame playing for minors. These regulations include a 90 minute/day gaming quota on schooldays, an online gaming curfew of 10:00PM every night, and a micro/macro-transaction budget of $57USD equivalent/month, as relayed by the New York Times. Allegedly, the Chinese government is worried about an uptick in so-called game addiction and an epidemic of nearsightedness amongst its younger citizens, while at least some older Chinese citizens have kibitzed that videogaming is drawing young people away from sports, and that China should focus on building more stadiums. Clearly these thoughts are the products of fevered minds that somehow think that playing sportsball is less of a waste of time than playing videogames (likely out of an archaic belief that dominating at the Olympic games actually means anything), and are willing to deny the fact that being Han Chinese causes nearsightedness.
However, strict …
Reports of Kotaku’s Demise are (Unfortunately) Greatly Exaggerated
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/03/19 at 02:54 PM CT
This week, all gamers who place themselves further Right on the socio-political spectrum than ‘Woke Black Gay Trans-Woman’ were treated to a string of rumors and speculation that Kotaku, the formerly-Gawker Media-owned, formerly beating-heart of online games journalism, recently fringe-Left-wing propaganda mill, was in the midst of crisis, with staff being fired or quitting in solidarity in the wake of Word-of-God decisions handed-down by the site’s new holding company owner, G/O Media. Unfortunately, those rumors were mostly driven by Tweet-divination and wholly false.
The whole thing started earlier this week with Deputy Editor, Barry Petchesky, being fired by the overlords at G/O Media for not sticking to the subject matter of his journalism blog. Petchesky didn’t work for Kotaku, though, but its sister site, Deadspin, which is to sportsball as Kotaku is to gaming. G/O allegedly told the head of Deadspin to “stick to sports,” rather than focus on political …
Backlog: The Embiggening – November, 2019
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/27/19 at 04:31 PM CT
Alas, in this world of corporate corruption where our government by-and-for the People is railed against by our own politicians, who inform us that “private” ownership puts things in the hands of the people, whereas “public” ownership puts things in the hands of some evil, bureaucratic entity (when, in reality, that’s the exact opposite of the Truth), it’s no surprise that November is known primarily for the phenomenon of Black Friday, rather than the day that comes before it. Indeed, there is often so little to be thankful for…
But this year, Black Friday is destined to be a non-entity, as the corporate retail machinery started to panic-grind into high gear a month earlier, moving the official start of the Winter Holiday Shopping Season to mid-October. What’s next? I’ll be getting X-mas gifts for my birthday in August?
Much like the Spice in the world of ‘Dune,’ the shovelware must flow. And flow it will in November. There are no unnecessary annual …
Fear and Loathing
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/20/19 at 04:31 PM CT
With Halloween – the Druidic celebration co-opted by both the Catholic Church and American Consumerism over the centuries – just around the corner, it’s impossible to step into any public space without seeing its festive trappings everywhere, as people revel in the indulgence of the supernatural, even as increasingly few Westerners believe in any of it. For those who regularly follow the blog here at MeltedJoystick, it should come as no surprise that I am quite dismissive of Survival Horror videogames, and, indeed, the entire Genre (with a big “G”) of Horror in general. This stance puts me strongly at odds with my brother-from-another-mother-(and-father), Chris, who obsessively loves Horror and has since we were elementary school kids.
I struggle to understand the idea of “scary = fun,” as I spent far too much of my childhood in abject terror, and it was decidedly NOT fun. As a kid, I fully believed in the supernatural and paranormal – not just at Halloween, but …
Can Anyone Legitimize Mobile Gaming?
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/13/19 at 03:08 PM CT
Mobile gaming is a massive, multi-billion dollar industry, yet it has been a plague upon the world since its very inception. While a few Japanese developers, like my once-beloved Square-Enix, tried to migrate traditional gaming to the mobile space of feature phones via cheap episodic titles like “Final Fantasy 4: The After Years,” which originally released in February 2008, it wasn’t until the iPhone App Store and Google Play (formerly known as the Android Market) came blazing onto the scene later that same year that the modern concepts of the smart phone and the app were truly born.
In spite of the huge amount of money mobile gaming generates, it is well-known among Core Gamers as a hive of scum and villainy. Mobile versions of beloved IPs like ‘Diablo’ are met with heckling and derision. We’ve caught onto the fact that mobile games are shallow imitations of the ‘real’ games we care about, with cynical monetization tacked on. Hell, even non-game software, like …
Five Inscrutable Things the Games Industry Still Does in 2019
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/06/19 at 04:31 PM CT
5. Draconian DRM and Treating Customers Like Criminals
It’s the eternal tug-o-war between corporations and customers. No matter how many studies, or sales models, or anything else rooted in facts proves that anti-piracy measures accomplish nothing, and that giving users of digital/electronic products a slick, easy experience with no hoop-jumping required is better for everyone on both sides, corporations still acts like feudal lords or totalitarian dictators. They probably do it because IP rights in the civilized West haven’t been reformed significantly since 1662. Sadly, with the renewed focus on the Chinese “stealing” American ideas, I don’t think any upcoming reforms will actually take things in the right direction.
4. Releasing Licensed Tie-In Trash for Every Kids’ Movie/Show
We have known since at least 1982 that licensed games based on movies, TV shows, and… dog food are untrustworthy, to say the least. Yet even this year, in 2019, we’ve gotten our fair …
Backlog: The Embiggening – October, 2019
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/29/19 at 04:04 PM CT
Welcome back to another look into the near future! October is just around the corner, and that means Halloween has already been on the public’s mind for… err… two months. But still, October is the month for scaring the crap out of each other, and the overwhelming number of upcoming releases certainly has me unnerved. Especially due to the continuing trend of shovelware and ports dominating everything. At least both of those categories have something in the that could be considered “good” with the right mindset.
Repetition is one of the keys to learning, so let’s go over it again kiddies: There are three types of shovelware. The cynical tie-in game based on another IP (that is not already a game), the annual release that comes out every year whether it’s needed or not, and the super-casual non-game. October has all three in spades.
For licensed swill, we’ve got a game based on the ‘Ice Age’ movie franchise, even though there isn’t a new one of those coming …
The ONLY 3 Subscriptions Worth a Damn
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/22/19 at 03:17 PM CT
Oh, great. This week Apple Computer announced that they will be adding yet another subscription gaming service to the ever-increasing pile, alongside the likes of Microsoft Gamepass, EA Access, Uplay+, Google Stadia, PlayStation+, and Nintendo’s thing. The sad part is, no matter what each company’s force of deluded fanboys might spout in the feverish midst of their White Knighting and/or shilling, NONE of these subscriptions are actually worth the powder to blow them up. Meanwhile, the gaming community and what remains of the free gaming press have grown decidedly cynical about the whole thing.
And the cynicism is well deserved, as subscription services are increasingly offering little to nothing of value, especially when compared to outright buying digital media licenses. With corporate America expecting consumers to stack subscription upon subscription upon subscription, customers are being bled monthly for alarming amounts of cash, while getting only temporary ephemera in …
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