By Nelson Schneider - 12/05/21 at 01:31 PM CT
Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:
Nelson’s Reviews:
Fall is traditionally my “busy season” when it comes to my agricultural career, and I’ve been putting in the hours, operating heavy machinery, burning brush piles, and generally cleaning up a lot of messes that don’t need to be there when planting time rolls around again next Spring. Of course, that doesn’t really cut into my videogaming time all that much, since videogames happen in the evening and work happens during the day. So I’m not really sure how I managed to play and review a miserable 3 games this Fall… other than the fact that the Crew still has had messed up scheduling that has prevented us from finishing “Borderlands 3” (which we started in EFFING MAY of this year), and Chris and I haven’t managed to get together enough times to finish the second episode in the ‘Boot Hill’ Indie RPG series. I also decided to replace the presence of “Destiny 2” in my life – now that it has a compulsory rootkit to protect the awful PvP mode and is removing the ‘Forsaken’ DLC content from its hamster wheel of repetition – with “Warframe,” which I have been playing for roughly 50 days straight… so, yeah, Live Service games absolutely will destroy your ability to digest a backlog.
“I Am Setsuna” – 2.5/5
“ReCore” – 3/5
“World of Final Fantasy” – 4/5
Chris’ Reviews:
THE Disgruntled Dwarf officially cleared his list of Backlog Ablutions… for the first time since we started this friendly challenge! Good for you, Disgrunt!
“Alternativa” – 2.5/5
“Hitman: Absolution” – 3.5/5
“Simulacra” – 3/5
Nick’s Reviews:
Lightning hasn’t played any of his Backlog Ablution titles since I saw him briefly fire-up “FEZ” during the Summer. Instead, he’s continued to clock wasted hours in “Destiny 2,” which are even more wasted now that the rest of the Crew has agreed to abandon the game en masse due to Bungie’s terrible mismanagement. Even worse, the bastard went and bought the next “Destiny 2” expansion – “The Witch Queen” – which he will get to play entirely by himself.
*sad, dead, rusty, addicted trombone*
Featured User Review:
After a Summer during which nobody submitted qualifying user reviews, Fall was quite a bit busier, with many of the usual suspects submitting hot takes and objectively wrong opinions. Thus, this quarter we’re awarding the Featured User Review spot to Matt, who gave shining praise to “Valkyria Chronicles 4,” a game that absolutely deserves as much praise and attention as it can get, since it is uncontroversially excellent, yet somehow flew under the radar… probably because it’s no longer exclusive to a single platform, and the fanboys can’t use it in their nonsense wars.
