By Nelson Schneider - 05/24/15 at 02:53 PM CT
With the coming of June, all of the little schoolchildren will, once again, have free reign to wash across the world in a wave of terror. Hopefully there will be plenty of new game releases to keep them busy. In their rooms. Away from the adults.
Unfortunately for us, June will be bringing a resurgence of licensed shovelware, which has been mercifully absent for months now. There will be a new LEGO-ification of upcoming unnecessary sequel, “Jurassic World,” another ‘Batman Arkham’ game (Aren’t people getting tired of these by now?), and a Sony exclusive Fighting mashup featuring the most popular characters from the most popular shonen manga in “Shonen Jump Magazine.” Also, while it’s not licensed, and therefore tangentially related to shovelware at best, the ‘F1’ series has become so prolific that the dev is now naming titles based on the year they are released, so I’m going to consider that series officially milked.
Ports and remasters? Of course! This is the 8th Generation! The PS Vita is getting ports of “Terraria,” “Tetris” (about time!), and a ‘Hyperdimension Neptunia’ game. Two of the 8th Gen consoles (the PS4 and XBONE) are getting a remaster of “Payday 2,” while a different pair of 8th Gen consoles (the PS4 and WiiU) are getting an HD remaster of a PS2 mascot platformer, “The Legend of Kay.”
There are shockingly few new multi-platform games again in June. Though, unsurprisingly, all of them are skipping the WiiU. Bethesda is going to try to get its fingers into gamers’ pockets for that sweet, sweet subscription money with their first (and presumably not last) ‘Elder Scrolls’ MMORPG. A no-name motocross games called “Ride” is also coming to the three modern (non-Nintendo) platforms, while both last-gen and this-gen are getting a ‘BlazBlue’ J-Fighting sequel.
Exclusives are looking really grim once again. Steam may yet produce something unexpected, Indie, and wonderful, but doesn’t have anything big lined up ahead of time. Neither does the XBONE… or the WiiU. The PS4, however, has the amazing “Onechanbara Z2: Chaos” – a sequel to “Bikini Samurai Squad” – which has Chris practically frothing at the mouth.
Each handheld is also getting one exclusive. Both are RPG-like… things. Both are filled with moe. And both look like the type of thing that has caused the rest of the world to stop taking Japanese game development seriously. The Vita is getting “Operation Abyss: New Tokyo Legacy,” while the 3DS is getting “Lord of Magna: Maiden Heaven.” You will be forgiven for thinking that second one is “Lord of Manga.” It’s not.
Zip, zilch, bupkis, goose-egg. Absolutely nothing worthwhile is coming out this month… again. I know plenty of people will be soiling themselves over the new ‘Batman Arkham’ game, but I don’t see why. The formula employed by that franchise has been used to death in both Ubisoft’s tired ‘Assassin’s Creed’ series and the recent “Lord of the Rings: Shadow of Mordor.” It’s getting to the point that whatever genre tag the media wants to hang on this particular style of gameplay is becoming as prolific as generic, uninspired 2D Platformers were in the 3rd and 4th Generations. No skin off my nose, though. I can keep working through my backlog without making it any bigger for another 30 days.
Backlog Embiggened: +0
