By Nelson Schneider - 04/04/15 at 01:12 PM CT
The Fools are out in full-force this April, buying up every remastered game they can get their paws on. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the Fools and their habits have resulted in a month that is completely dominated by remasters and ports. The only upside is that we are, once again, spared the sting of licensed shovelware.
Jumping right into the ports and remasters, the PS4 and XBONE are each getting one PC game: “Tropico 5” for Sony and “State of Decay” for Microsoft. Both 8th Gen copycats are also getting “The Golf Club,” in case their owners were pining for some last-gen download-only ball-beating. PC is getting the formerly console-exclusive release of “Grand Theft Auto 5” (which has no hype anymore, at least), as well as an ‘Omega Edition’ of a mobile phone game, “Out There.” The 3DS is getting a port of last-gen’s most acclaimed RPG, “Xenoblade Chronicles,” while almost everyone is getting a complete edition rehash of “Dark Souls 2.”
Shockingly, in an era of multi-platform everything, the only multi-platform release in April is the first wave of “Mortal Kombat X” for the current-gen platforms (last gen will get the game later this summer). ‘Gosh, I’m glad I bought an 8th Gen console to play rehashed sequels of terrible fighting games!’ said no one ever.
There isn’t a lot in the way of exclusives coming in April, either. PC is getting “Dungeons 2,” which looks to be another spiritual successor to the classic ‘Dungeon Keeper’ franchise, plus “Finding Teddy 2,” a sequel to one of the increasingly common Indie platformers featuring young children in bleak environments.
The PS4 is getting one exclusive, in the form of “Omega Quintet,” an RPG that only helps reinforce the idea that Japanese pop culture is destroying the country’s ability to create good videogames: It’s about a group of female pop idols who must use their music to save the world from destruction… I don’t even… Please, Japan… just stop. You’re killing me!
The XBONE and WiiU are both getting nothing, appropriately and distressingly. The Vita, likewise, is serving as a paperweight this month.
The 3DS isn’t exactly getting anything great either, though. Its lone exclusive is a mashup of the ‘Etrian Odyssey’ map-drawing RPGs and the ‘Mystery Dungeon’ series of roguelikes. I don’t see how combining two really bad RPG mechanics into a single game could result in anything but catastrophe.
And that’s it! As someone who hasn’t drunk the remaster Kool-Aid, I’m quite disgusted at how game developers seem so willing to resell us the same titles over and over after they intentionally break backward compatibility by releasing new hardware. Between the eternal treadmill of remasters and ports and the unexciting new releases, I think we should all agree to skip ahead to May… which probably won’t be any better.
Backlog Embiggened: +0
Comments
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 04/05/15 at 01:05 PM CT
Witcher 3 will very likely be worth playing, at least for the story conclusion, but with the horrible combat in Witcher 2, I'm sure we'll need to wait for the Enhanced Edition in order for the gameplay to be tolerable.
Chris Kavan - wrote on 04/05/15 at 10:12 AM CT
Ah ah - May brings us The Witcher Wild Hunt - something to finally be excited about.
