By Nelson Schneider - 11/09/13 at 03:28 PM CT
Welcome to another look into the near future. The trend I observed last month – that the build-up to Holiday 2013 is featuring a single massively-mainstream release per month that overshadows everything else released that month to the detriment of gaming as a whole – is continuing into November with the destined-to-be-record-breaking release of “Call of Duty: Ghosts.” In addition to that guaranteed earner, November is also the release month for Sony’s and Microsoft’s 8th Generation hardware, with all the exclusives that come with that… except the PS4 and XBONE don’t really appear to have all that many exclusives, with their launch libraries instead dominated by multiplatform releases of November games (that are also available on Sony’s and MS’ 7th Generation hardware) and day- late- dollar- short ports of other 7th Generation games that were released in the past few months. Why should we be excited about the 8th Gen, again?
As Christmas draws ever nearer, the shovelware manufacturers are coming out of the woodwork in their annual reproductive cycle. Much like some kind of parasitic insect, shovelware preys upon the ignorance of grandparents and luddite parents (normal parents of the upcoming generation of children should have grown up with videogames, and thus should understand that licensed games are garbage and should be able to recognize shovelware) to find its way into Christmas wrapping paper. And the best way to ensure a purchase by the uninformed is to make your shovelware available on as many platforms as possible. There’s the delayed release of a new ‘Pac-Man’ 3D platformer (Again, I ask WHY? Neither Pac-Man nor 3D platformers are in vogue at the moment.), the delayed release of a new LEGO + Marvel mashup, the delayed release of a new ‘Zumba Fitness’ thing (plus a non-delayed ‘Zumba’ thing targeting kids instead of women), the delayed “Young Justice: Legacy” (Geez, did any of this crap get released on time?), an honest-to-goodness physical release of “DuckTales Remastered” for consoles, a new ‘Ben 10’ game, a new ‘Adventure Time’ game, console ports of “Farming Simulator 2013” (as someone in the agricultural business, I can’t help but wonder how fun it is to play a game where you only do something for a week in the Spring and a week in the Fall, then spend the rest of the time worrying about what random events will screw you over), a new ‘Barbie’ game, and some kind of “Rock Band” or “Guitar Hero” rip-off called “Bandfuse: Rock Legends.”
The handhelds seem to be getting their own special dose of shovelware in the form of several games that don’t appear on non-handhelds. There’s a 3DS port of “Cradle of Egypt 2” (which totally deserved a remake, amirite?), versions of “Moshi Monsters: Katsuma Unleashed” for both the DS/i and the 3DS (This kind of thing is still completely unethical! If it can run on a DS/i, it can already run on a 3DS! Making a 3DS specific version only ensures that plenty of grannies will buy the wrong version for their grandkid’s handheld, resulting in tears.), a brand new 3DS ‘Power Rangers’ game (they’re still around?!), “LEGO Friends” for 3DS, and a Vita port of “Injustice: Gods Among Us.”
HOLY. CRAP. That was a LOT of shovelware! Why don’t we now cleanse our palates by taking a look at the multi-platform games someone might actually want to buy? There really aren’t all that many this month, and few of them include the new 8th Gen consoles. There is, of course, the afore mentioned “Call of Duty: Ghosts” which will earn billions of dollars despite being an annual rehash nearly as devoid of new content as the annual sports releases… except ‘Ghosts’ actually looks like it might be changing things up enough with a new setting and potential interesting story that it might be worth a second look. Of course, I still wouldn’t buy it based on principle. Besides that mainstream behemoth, there’s the delayed “Castlevania Lord of Shadows Collection” which only includes 3D ‘Castlevanias’ from the 7th Generation (and thus isn’t worth buying), a new ‘XCOM’ game, a new ‘Need for Speed’ game, console ports of last month’s Steam release of “F1 2013,” and a low-budget FPS called “Deadfall Adventures” that actually looks like it might be worth a second look if a Steam sale makes it $3 (plus, it’s the only new IP in the entire group!). The only multi-platform game exclusive to 8th Gen platforms is a new annual release in “NBA Live” basketball.
Where multi-platform non-shovelware games seem scarce in November, exclusives are actually experiencing one of their biggest months within recent memory. While the Xbox 360 is getting NOTHING for the second month in a row (as it should be), all of the other major platforms (including the brand new ones, naturally) are getting at least some exclusive love. In Sony’s case, the PS3 is showing itself to be the true heir of the PS2, in that it is finally getting over its NO GAEMZ issue just in time to be replaced by its successor (which will, of course, inherit the NO GAEMZ issue). The PS3 is getting an exclusive “Worms Revolution Collection,” an anime character mashup fighting game called “AquaPazza” (yes, Japanese game titles stopped making sense a while ago), some kind of excessively bizarre and totally niche RPG called “The Guided Fate Paradox,” and a new ‘no gimmicks’ entry in the ‘Ratchet & Clank’ series. The Vita is also getting more attention than it has in ages, with both the weird-looking “Tearaway” and a new entry in the venerable ‘Ys’ action/RPG franchise. The PS4, as Sony’s new baby, SHOULD be getting all the attention, but instead is only getting a new ‘Killzone’ and “Knack,” a new IP that looks interesting, but not interesting enough to be a system seller. Nintendo is also bringing out a few big guns for the holiday season, with “Super Mario 3D World” bringing me a reason to exhume my WiiU. Unfortunately, that’s the ONLY interesting WiiU game coming in November, as Nintendo still seems to think they need to lock other potentially-great games to crappy handheld hardware. I would LOVE to buy “The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds,” as it is both the sequel to the BEST. ZELDA. GAME. EVAR. and something I’ve been awaiting for years… but I have no desire to own/use a 3DS, and I’m concerned that the gimmicky 3DS hardware will result in a ruined game as it (and the original DS) has done is so many other instances. Oh, and Nintendo’s also putting yet another ‘Mario Party’ game on the 3DS (If it wasn’t first party, it would have already been covered in the shovelware section of this article.). Since the Xbox 360 has been abandoned by MS like a syphilitic whale carcass, the XBONE is getting plenty of exclusive attention: There’s a QTE about Romans, a new ‘Dead Rising,’ a new ‘Forza,’ and the Kinect-2-centric “Fighter Within” (in other words, no reason to buy an XBONE). Finally, there’s Steam… which seems pretty dismal, with the exclusive releases of “Heli Heroes” and “Lilly Looking Through”… but when it comes to Steam, most of the exciting releases come as complete surprises anyway.
November looks to be compensating for the overall lack of releases over the past few months with an enormous amount of new stuff. Of course, plenty of it is unplayable crap, but that’s the way it always is. While I’m interested in “Knack” and “Zelda: A Link Between Worlds,” I don’t foresee ever playing either of them, since I have no plans to buy either a 3DS or a PS4. Of the games whose hardware I own, I’ll be adding “Super Mario 3D World,” “Ratchet & Clank: Into the Nexus,” “Deadfall Adventures,” and a physical copy of “Ducktales Remastered” (good thing I never got around to buying a digital copy!) to my backlog.
Backlog Embiggened: +3 (replacing “DuckTales Remastered” on Steam (which I never bought) with “DuckTales Remastered” on a WiiU disc nets 0 change on that title)
