By Nelson Schneider - 09/07/13 at 01:37 PM CT
Welcome to another look into the near future. Perhaps the Summer Game Drought never really brought its full force to bear this year due to the impending dread by smaller developers of the juggernaut mainstream releases coming in September. Not that September actually looks to have many good releases, just that it will have at least one release that will sell to every ne’er-do-well with a game console: “Grand Theft Auto 5.”
Of course, the shovelware and licensed dreck developers aren’t afraid of “GTA5.” They’re doing their own thing since their target audience is too young to buy a ‘GTA’ game over-the-counter (no matter how fervent the desire). Thus we’re getting a new game based on HotWheels toy cars (Do kids even play with those anymore?), a DS back-port of a 3DS/Vita LEGO game, and teenaged DC Comics superheroes. Slightly older teens, whose angst surely will cause them no end of despair at their inability to legally buy “GTA5,” will have to content themselves with simulating the life of a less violent criminal by playing “World Series of Poker: Full House Pro” (which thankfully has nothing to do with the TV show, “Full House”). Then there’s Sega – always a bastion of originality – taking a page from Capcom’s playbook and re-releasing a HD remake of one of their more popular 16-bit licensed Disney games, “Castle of Illusion.” In the realm of licensed sports titles, jocks in Canada and Europe can once again rejoice that, in a repeat of last September, there are new NHL and FIFA releases, plus this year is also seeing a new entry in the ‘Pro Evolution Soccer’ series. Outside of the licensed swill, the only pure, unadulterated shovelware coming in September is headed directly toward the apparently-still-twitching corpse of the original Wii… and both of these titles are karaoke games.
Beyond licensed games and shovelware, the elephant in the room of ‘grown-up games for real grown up men’ is, of course, “Grand Theft Auto 5,” which is part of a series I wouldn’t touch with a 39.5-foot pole. I’ve never understood the desire of so many gamers to pretend to be completely amoral criminals in a modern city, and I think catering to this type of mindset is one of the main things that perpetuates the image of gamers as irredeemable man-children living out their angsty, sociopathic fantasies… but it will sell a bazillion copies, so I will just throw my hands in the air and yell, “MEH!” at it. The other huge multi-platform release in September is the long-anticipated console port of “Diablo 3” with both the always-on DRM and the avaricious real-money auction house excised. I won’t be buying “Diablo 3,” but the MJ crew will be playing the PS3 version as one of our local co-op games.
But those two guaranteed profit-generators aren’t the only multi-platform games coming in September. Standing in the shadows of those two economic titans are a new entry in the jiggle-physic-sim-disguised-as-a-fighting-game series, “Dead or Alive 5 Ultimate,” and a new entry in the long-running, long-stagnant ‘Armored Core’ series of mecha-simulators. I’m honestly surprised that From Software is still making these games! Finally, there’s the once-destined-to-be-a-WiiU-exclusive, “Rayman Legends,” which showed Ubisoft’s loyalty to its business partners, as the game went multi-platform as soon as Ubisoft saw the WiiU’s unspectacular early sales numbers. But then, what kind of business ethics should we expect from the company behind Uplay?
For the first time in quite a while, all of the major, currently-active platforms are getting at least one exclusive. On the Xbox 360, there’s a Kinect-powered, flying squirrel-themed racing game called “Freefall Racers.” PC is getting a new entry in the ‘Amnesia’ series of horror-themed Adventure games as well as a new Roman sequel in the ‘Total War’ series. The PS3 is getting a HD remake of “Kingdom Hearts” (barf) and a brand-new IP that actually looks pretty interesting, “Puppeteer.” The WiiU is also getting a brand-new IP in the “Wonderful 101,” which looks somewhat ‘Pikmin’-esque (and is thus intriguing). The WiiU and 3DS are beginning to learn how to share, as siblings should, and are both home to yet another ‘Scribblenauts’ game. Of the two handhelds, the Vita is finally making out better than the 3DS, with a ‘Killzone’ portable spinoff and a sequel to ‘Valhalla Knights’ (which is one of the worst action/RPGs I’ve ever played), compared to the 3DS’ unpronounceably titled “Hakuoki: Memories of the Shinsengumi,” a Japanese visual novel aimed at women (Who is making the decisions to bring some of these things overseas?!).
Despite being overshadowed by the over-hyped releases of “Grand Theft Auto 5” and “Diablo 3” on consoles, September is bringing enough diversity that there are titles that should interest anyone. I’ll be adding “Puppeteer” and “Wonderful 101” to my collection (and my backlog), while the MJ crew’s weekly co-op night will ensure that I get a chance to play “Diablo 3” and “Rayman Legends,” even though I have no desire to own either of them.
Backlog Embiggened: +2 (+2 co-op)
Comments
Nelson Schneider - wrote on 09/14/13 at 03:29 PM CT
Wow, two new horror games in one month! Chris, where will you find the time?!
Chris Kavan - wrote on 09/08/13 at 01:29 PM CT
Turns out there is one more game to add (now that I was able to update it with the correct information). Huntsman: The Orphanage on PC/Steam comes out this month and is a +1 for me for looking like a great atmospheric horror game. Also, Young Justice has been pushed back to November - and I bet you're crying inside because of it.
