MeltedJoystick Video Game Blog

Woke Leftist Politicians Accuse Gamers of Nazi “Extremism”

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/18/22 at 03:02 PM CT

The famous quote by Martin Niemoller remains perpetually evergreen in its relevance. As the censoriousness of the Woke Left grows ever stronger and demanding, the list of stances, be they overtly political, politicized, or apolitical, that falls under the blanket of “Hate Speech” and “Hate Crimes” grows ever wider. First social media became infested with Wokeness, but I didn’t know or care because I don’t use social media. Then mainstream media – magazines, newspapers, television, and movies – became infested with Wokeness, but it didn’t matter because those forms of media have been obsolete since the rise of the Internet. But now Wokeness is coming for gaming and the new media, but there’s no one left to reach out to for backup.

Seven Democratic lawmakers are submitting letters to almost the entire length, breadth, and depth of the Games Industry, demanding that these companies work to censor what gamers can say on their platforms in the name of combating …

Streaming Company Imagines it Will Be a ‘Big Leader’ in Videogames

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/11/22 at 04:41 PM CT

As 2022 winds down, one media corporation just upped the ante and showed its hand for the future. Netflix, the pioneering DotCom startup that both deprecated Blockbuster via its mail-based movie rental service and also lead the way into the bold new hellscape of subscription streaming video that currently surrounds us, recently added a ‘gaming’ section to their online services. In an interview with Vox magazine, the company’s co-founder, Reed Hastings, stated that the company has “a lot of investment to do in gaming.”

Hastings’ comments follow on the heels of Netflix throwing a lot of money into the gaming space, including the creation of a new mobile game studio in Finland, bringing a number of critically acclaimed mobile games (and mobile ports) to their video streaming platform, and expressing interest in adding game streaming to their list of core features – a year after Google’s own game streaming platform went defunct.

Is anyone at Netflix actually paying …

Review Round-Up: Fall 2022

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 12/03/22 at 01:43 PM CT

Welcome back to another installment of the MeltedJoystick Review Round-Up. Here’s what our staff has reviewed since last time:

Nelson’s Reviews:
Holy crap! What’s going on here?! I played a bunch of games this Fall and enjoyed all of them? Yeah, “Daemon X Machina” was the only real disappointment of the lot, but at least it gave me an opportunity to fart around with Yuzu some more. If only I could get winning streaks like this out of my backlog more often!

“Door Kickers: Action Squad” – 4.5/5
“BioMutant” – 4/5
“Dragon Quest Builders 2” – 4.5/5
“Journey to the Savage Planet” – 4.5/5
“Wasteland 3” – 4.5/5
“Daemon X Machina” – 3.5/5

Chris’ Reviews:
The short, hairy creature formerly known as THE Disgruntled Dwarf has officially canceled his Twitch channel. Of course, it hasn’t really lead him into playing/finishing/reviewing more games out of his backlog, but getting out of the rat race for attention can only be a net …

Backlog: The Embiggening – December, 2022

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/27/22 at 02:40 PM CT

Welcome back, once again, to another look into the near future! The End is Nigh! That’s right, 2022, is rapidly approaching its Swan Song. December’s release schedule is usually a mess of rushed projects that have been delayed multiple times, but whose publishers are desperate to get them out the door before the end of the year in order to – dubiously – get some black ink on the ledger. December also provides the final opportunity of the year to trick and deceive consumers into buying the wrong products as Winter Solstice Holiday gifts to help loved ones get through the longest and coldest nights of the year. Let’s see if any of this December’s releases are worth getting excited about, or if they’d be better off burnt as Yule Logs.

Shoveware is quite a bit lighter than it has been for the past few months, and decidedly non-existent compared to this time of year, historically. But there’s still some, and it falls into two out of the three major categories. In …

The Top 10 Ugliest Pokemon

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/20/22 at 03:34 PM CT

Like clockwork, a new generation of ‘Pokemon’ games has dropped, with the recent release of “Pokemon Scarlet Version” and “Pokemon Violet Version,” and the fanbase is already complaining that the new designs for the titular pocketable monsters are worse than ever. Far be it from me to be a contrarian (j/k), but ugly pokemon isn’t exactly a new phenomenon. I’ve personally been offended by quite a few pokemon designs going all the way back to the beginning. Here’s my short list of the worst.

10. Shelmet"The first time I ran into a Shelmet in “Pokemon GO,” I couldn’t believe this thing made it past the Western Censors. Sure, it’s a clam that has a knightly armor-like helmet… for a shell… but the clam part also looks undeniably like a disturbing penis. Seeing this pokemon in motion, with its facial dong wobbling around just makes things worse. I never actually call Shelmet “Shelmet” when talking about ‘Pokemon,’ though, I simply call it "Penis …

Oculus Founder, Palmer Luckey, Creates Ultimate ‘Dark Souls’ Accessory

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/13/22 at 01:46 PM CT

The insufferable, elitist Souls Trolls of the Cult of From have a new opportunity to ‘git gudder’ thanks to VR Magnate, Palmer Luckey, who founded the Oculus company in 2012 before selling out to Facebook/Meta in 2014. Luckey is no Elon Musk – that is, an ignorant rich boy who buys extant ideas and milks money out of them – but started building the technology underpinning Oculus VR from scratch in his parents’ garage in 2010. It seems that, even as a wealthy sellout and Donald Trump fanboy, Luckey can’t stop tinkering, and in November 2022 revealed his latest creation: A VR headset packed with explosives that kills the user if they die in-game.

I have long pined for such a device. Not for myself, of course. I, personally, like gaming because it’s all low-risk, no-stakes entertainment, not to mention a fantastic medium for storytelling. However, the constant droning of Souls Troll mantras across the gaming sectors of the Internet has made me wish they could truly live …

Then & Now

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 11/06/22 at 01:28 PM CT

Backlog: The Embiggening – November, 2022

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/30/22 at 04:46 PM CT

Welcome back, once again, to another look into the near future! November is upon us, and as the month when Americans are supposed to set aside time to think about all the things we’re thankful for in our lives, I can’t help but think that I’m NOT thankful for all these terrible monthly release schedules crammed with crap. Of course, gratitude isn’t the real thing the market has on its hive mind, but the rapidly-approaching advent of the Winter Black Ink-on-the-Ledger (as if anyone still uses those, or changes the color of their Excel font) holidays, starting with November’s own Black Friday, and continuing in an orgy of profit mongering all the way until the end of the Fiscal Year in March. Yeah, after two downer years thanks to COVID and ‘successive economic contractions’ marking a ‘recession,’ Games Industry players are desperate to push products out the door and trade them for buyers’ increasingly-devalued currency.

Oh, my EFFing head… we need to hire …

How Has Square-Enix NOT Screwed-Up ‘Dragon Quest’?

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/23/22 at 03:17 PM CT

Recently, I started playing the latest “new” spinoff release (from 2018) in the long-running and highly-respected ‘Dragon Quest’ franchise, while also anticipating this year’s upcoming release of “Dragon Quest Treasures,” and I found myself wondering: “How is it that the ‘Dragon Quest’ series has remained steadfastly good, with only a few exceptions, over the course of 35+ years?”

While it is true that when it started in 1986, with a trilogy of 8-bit NES titles that featured grinding, tedium, and more grinding, ‘Dragon Quest’ was, like every game of the era, a bit ‘basic.’ Furthermore, in the era of localization instead of translation, Enix of America took great pains to knock all the ‘funny’ out of ‘Dragon Quest’ and turn it into a ‘serious’ RPG that would compete directly with PC-centric releases like the ‘Ultima’ series. However, the 8-bit era wasn’t a time for creating masterpieces, it was a time for laying foundations and …

Valve Steam Deck Ad Gives Nintendo Fanboys Aneurisms

Nelson Schneider - wrote on 10/16/22 at 03:19 PM CT

Ever since Valve launched the Steam Deck, Nintendo fanboys have been squealing and squirming at the prospect of a portable PC with a huge back catalog of games and FREE online dragging attention away from the Nintendo Switch, which they love to worship as the first handheld/console hybrid device, in spite of the fact that it is NOT. Recently, one Patreon Panhandler on Twitter (which recent Pew data revealed to be nothing but an echo chamber where 3% of the users generate 90% of the content) noticed that, in Valve’s official Steam Deck advertisement, the logo for the excellent Yuzu Nintendo Switch emulator appears on the Steam Deck launcher menu. Naturally, this Tweet was picked up by NintendoLife and turned into a story, which has its own share of delusional fanboyism going on in the comments section.

Unfortunately, Yuzu isn’t available for download on Steam. However, there is a Linux version available, which can be downloaded and installed quite easily on a Steam Deck, since …



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